Phoenix Mandel, AMFT, CSE
(They/them) • Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist
*Under supervision by David Khalili, LMFT LMFT #89087
San Francisco, CA • Telehealth across California
“Is it better to live your life in shallow water or risk failure drowning in the deep end?”
- James Vincent McMorrow
The Work
Therapy for the relationally brave.
I work with queer couples/ partners, polycules, caregivers, and solo seekers navigating the sticky, sacred terrain of connection — repairing ruptures, deepening trust, renegotiating agreements, increasing access to pleasure, and returning to resonance.
Many of my clients are LGBTQIA+, nonmonogamous, neurodivergent, kinky, or otherwise living outside the cultural script; often they’re looking for a therapist with lived experience, who doesn’t need a glossary to understand where they’re coming from. Some of these clients are unpacking gender stories written by other people. Some are preparing for or adjusting to medical transition. Others are grappling with the complex intersections of identity, fertility, and family-making — exploring paths to parenting, navigating caregiver burnout, or facing questions about what legacy, lineage, and chosen family mean in queer life.
I support people in asking the hard, beautiful questions: Who am I now? Who do I want to become? What feels most at home in my body? In my relationships? Whether we’re reworking attachment patterns, integrating trauma, or practicing new ways of relating, I bring curiosity, clarity, and care to the process.
My approach is warm, direct, collaborative, and adaptive. I use a blend of structural family therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), somatic and mindfulness practices, harm reduction, narrative therapy, nature therapy, and psychoeducation. I attend closely to the body’s signals and the nervous system’s needs, especially in relational healing.
I bring nearly two decades of experience as a sexuality educator, intimacy coach, and group facilitator — so conversations about desire, power, grief, pleasure, embodiment, and boundaries aren’t just welcome, they’re central to the work.
Specialties
Gender exploration and transition support
Queer and trans/ gender expansive couples therapy
Fertility, family-building, and parenting/ caregiving stress
Ethical nonmonogamy and polyamory
BDSM, kink, and sex-positive therapy
Conflict, communication, and rupture/repair
Rebuilding trust after harm or infidelity
Sexuality, desire discrepancies, and intimacy
LGBTQIA+ identity and family-of-origin issues
Trauma-informed, body-aware relational healing
Neurodivergence in relationships (ADHD, autism)
About Me
I hold a Master’s in Counseling (MFT) from CSU East Bay and am a Certified Sexuality Educator through AASECT, where I previously chaired the Gender Diverse Special Interest Group. My background spans peer counseling, harm reduction, education, and community care in queer, trans, and nontraditional relationship spaces.
I’m queer, genderqueer, polyamorous, neurodivergent, and committed to therapy that honors complexity and prioritizes consent, liberation, and joy. I don’t believe healing is linear — it’s relational exploration, sometimes messy, and absolutely worth it.
Education
Master of Science in Counseling, Marriage and Family Therapy Concentration, California State University East Bay, 2023-2025
AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, 2021
Holistic Sex Educator Certification, Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment, 2020
California Multisubject Teaching Credential with English Learner Authorization, California State University Northridge, 2011
Early Childhood Education Training, Santa Monica College, 2010
Bachelor of Arts, Peace Studies, Chapman University, 2009
Certifications & Training
Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (AMFT# 156522)
Expansion Brainspotting
Conflict Mediation
Articles/Podcasts
Loving Without Boundaries Episodes 161 (2021) and Episode 127 (2019)