8 Ways to Practice Enthusiastic Consent in Your Relationships

Practicing consent in your relationship is an effective means to enhance communication between you and your partner, but enthusiastic consent takes it a step further.

Enthusiastic consent is a newer, improved model of consent that focuses more on the positive expression of consent. This model of consent ensures that partners are reciprocally interested and find joy (enthusiastic) in engaging in sexual activity rather than consenting because it is safe to not say "no."

Enthusiastic consent is expressed through a few non-verbal means, such as nodding, smiling, and touching. However, it still makes sense to seek verbal approval.

This guide discusses the eight best ways to practice enthusiastic consent in your relationship.

Why Enthusiastic Consent Matters

Enthusiastic consent is a better version of consent for partners looking to improve their relationship on any front. Here are a few ways your relationship can benefit from enthusiastic consent:

Enhanced Pleasure and Intimacy

If you have been struggling to enjoy sexual activities with your partner, now is the time to start practicing enthusiastic consent. Enthusiastic consent ensures a partner consents to a sexual advance (and other activities) because they also find it pleasurable. Hence, each partner is happier engaging in the act, and they can both enjoy sex, fostering deepened intimacy.

Healthy Communication

Seeking your partner's enthusiastic consent helps improve communication since it ensures partners communicate in manners that seek mutual desires rather than just "yes." When your spouse notices you communicate with them to seek their interest, they speak their mind about what might be wrong and needs amends.

Lower Risk of Harm and Heightened Respect

Seeking your spouse's hands in an activity is not enough; you also need their genuine interest to ensure no boundaries are crossed. When they are interested in engaging in an act, you are sure you are causing them no harm. Plus, couples that prioritize mutual desires have a sense of respect for each other.

8 Ways to Cultivate Enthusiastic Consent

As recommended by couple therapy experts, here are the best ways to explore enthusiastic consent in your relationship:

1. Open and Honest Communication

Your journey to practicing enthusiastic consent starts with clear and honest communication with your partner. Couples communication plays a significant role in every aspect of a relationship, and it is an important tool to practice enthusiastic consent.

We encourage partners to engage in clear communication that analyzes each partner's desires and boundaries. Express your genuine desires to your partners and let them understand your boundaries. With this, they have an idea of what you want and if it is what they are interested to consent to.

2. Active Listening and Nonverbal Cues

Listening to your partner when they express their desires lets you know what they want and if it is what you want to consent to. Don't assume their words are coming from nowhere and they don't mean them. Also, paying more attention to their tone of voice gives you a clearer view of what they mean.

Similarly, acknowledge non-verbal expressions. Body language is one way partners communicate and reciprocate desires in their relationship. For example, if you ask your partner if you can kiss her and she smiles, she is likely consenting to the activity.

3. Checking In Regularly

Consent is not a one-time agreement between partners. It is continuous, and partners should continue to check in.

Noting that your partner declining your request to an act doesn't mean they will never be interested in it. Similarly, consenting to an act doesn't mean you always have their consent. You must regularly ask for their consent to ensure it is still an act they are willing to engage in.

Hence, it makes sense for partners to continually go over their desires at every step of an encounter.

4. Respecting "No" with Grace

Another way to practice enthusiastic consent in your relationship is to respect your partner's decision. If they say "no" to a request, show them you respect their decision and don't pressure them to consent to it.

If you pressure them and they later consent, you have defeated the purpose of enthusiastic consent. Remember, enthusiastic consent prioritizes their genuine interest in the act and does not force them to engage in it.

5. Creating a Safe Space for Exploration

The environment to practice an act influences your partner to genuinely express their desires or reciprocate your desires. If they find the environment safe and comfortable enough, they are likely to communicate their interest and enthusiastically consent to your request.

For example, if you and your husband are in a quiet place where no one is watching you, he will feel free to express his desire to touch you where you like being touched.

 6. Prioritizing Pleasure and Playfulness

It makes sense to focus your requests on what your partner finds fun and sexy. If your desire is what turns them on, they are more likely to be interested in being a partaker. Hence, it is a great idea to prioritize sexual activities that interest both of you.

Another approach to this is to prioritize fun activities. Since we all like having fun, your partner will likely consent to your request if it is fun.

7. Taking Responsibility for Your Own Pleasure

Your pleasure is your responsibility; your partner is only a partaker in it. Hence, it is best to own up to your responsibility instead of waiting for your partner to make the first move.

By taking responsibility for your own pleasure and making the necessary moves, you can effectively communicate your desires with your partner and seek their consent.

8. Cultivating a Culture of Consent

Cultivating the culture of consent shouldn't be limited only to bedroom activities. It is a great tool to strengthen your relationship in all aspects.

Beyond sexual activities, always play to the rules of enthusiastic consent. Doing this will extend the benefit of enthusiastic consent to other areas of your relationship and foster joy and respect between you and your partner.

Recap

Enthusiastic consent is a great practice for partners who seek respect and enhanced pleasure in their relationship. While basic consent focuses on seeking your partner's approval, enthusiastic consent prioritizes mutual interest.

If your partner is genuinely interested in a shared activity, they are willing to make it pleasurable and enjoyable, resulting in happier partners.

Are you looking for relationship therapy in San Francisco or anywhere in California? Rouse Relational Wellness has got you covered.

Contact us for a free consultation.

We also encourage you to share this guide about practicing enthusiastic consent and using the tips in your discussions so your loved ones can learn from it.