Why Your Chosen Family Matters: Building Stronger Relationships

As the holiday season approaches, many of us are reminded of the importance of family and the warm memories of this time of year. However, this season can be a stark reminder of difficult family dynamics or even estrangement from relatives for some of us. This is where the concept of a "chosen family" becomes crucial. In this blog post, we will discuss what a chosen family is and why it is essential, especially for those who may not have a supportive or loving blood family. We will also touch on ways to connect with your chosen family this holiday season.

What is a chosen family? 

A chosen family is a group of close friends or loved ones intentionally chosen to be a support system. They may not have any familial relation to you, but they are the people you turn to in times of need for comfort, advice, love, and support. This kind of family structure is most common in LGBTQ+ communities, where many individuals may experience rejection and lack of acceptance from their biological families.

But why is this concept of such importance? 

A chosen family is a way to build vital connections for those who are estranged from their families. Sometimes, we may lose touch with our identity, and a chosen family can help us re-discover it. They can provide an environment of acceptance and unconditional love, building our resilience and repairing some of the missing parts in our lives. This also promotes a sense of security and trust that allows for healthy interpersonal relationships.

"Reparenting by committee"

In the book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving," Pete Walker, LMFT discusses the concept of "Reparenting by Community," which is where we can work with others to heal past traumas that may have originated from our biological families. With a chosen family, we can apply this concept, building healthy connections with others and practicing healthy communication and active listening to redefine our relationships. This can be especially beneficial for those struggling with boundary-setting with their biological families.

For the holiday season, it can be challenging for those who may not have a supportive family structure. However, connecting with your chosen family can provide a new sense of comfort and welcome. Consider building new traditions with your loved ones, participating in some of your favorite activities or giving back to the community in meaningful ways. Try some different approaches like:

• Host a crafting night

• Create a YouTube party where everyone submits their favorite short videos and watch them all together

• Host a potluck

• Kinky game night (interpret this as you wish)

• Comment below with your own suggestions!

By creating shared experiences, you can build even greater bonds with your chosen family.

The concept of a chosen family can be life-changing for those who have felt unsupported or unloved by their biological families. By surrounding ourselves with supportive and loving individuals, we can build strong, healthy relationships that provide comfort, support, and a sense of belonging. The holiday season can be a wonderful time to connect and build traditions with your chosen family and to remind ourselves that love and support come in many forms. If you feel ready to work on building healthier relationships, consider scheduling a free consult call with us today. The holidays may be rough, but building stronger relationships can help us thrive.